True but thats because hes a fetus.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
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