Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
