Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
