Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
