just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
