why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
