Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
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The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
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Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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