There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I faked an abortion last night.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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