is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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