First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
