we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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