dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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