i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
