Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
