Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize