WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
