She's JV to your varsity
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
