i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize