normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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