Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.

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(206): View more from Washington

Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.

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(415): View more from California

From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.

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(720): View more from Colorado

i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...

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(210): View more from Texas

Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!

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(586): View more from Michigan

I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text

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