I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
