she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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