why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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