Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
