I skipped work to stalk him.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
