O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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