My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
