I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
