Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
