nut hugger
Your mouth is God's brothel.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
