I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
