with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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