love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
