Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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