I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Randomize
