I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
