I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
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