He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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