He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
