smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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