There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
No subtext here. People are naked.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
