Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
