Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
