I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
