My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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