STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
