I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dignity is for republicans.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
