He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize