Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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