He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
