Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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