6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
