I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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