Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
this hospital has no fireball
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
