i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
