Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
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He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
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She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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