He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
