kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You ate ashes out of my bong
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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