That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hippo gnu deer
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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