Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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